Why Play Therapy Helps Children with Challenging Behaviors

Robyn Reyna, LPC-S, RPT-S, RST
3 days ago
5 min read

When many parents first hear the words play therapy, they understandably wonder:

“How is playing supposed to help my child stop melting down, hitting, shutting down emotionally, refusing school, or struggling with behavior?”

It’s a fair question.

From the outside, play can look simple. But decades of research, neuroscience, and child development research all point to something incredibly important:

Play is one of the primary ways children process emotions, practice regulation skills, communicate experiences, and support healthy development.

Children are not miniature adults. Their brains are still developing — especially the parts responsible for:

emotional regulation,
impulse control,
communication,
flexible thinking,
frustration tolerance,
and problem solving.

Adults usually process stress through conversation and reflection. Children process through:

movement,
imagination,
creativity,
sensory experiences,
relationships,
and play.

That’s why play therapy can be so powerful for children experiencing behavioral or emotional challenges.

Behavior Is Communication

At Calming Communities, we believe children are inherently good.

When children are struggling behaviorally, we do not start from the assumption that they are manipulative, attention-seeking, lazy, or “bad.” Instead, we ask:

“What is this behavior trying to communicate?”

Behavior is often the visible sign that something underneath is overwhelming a child’s nervous system or developmental abilities.

A child may be:

anxious,
overwhelmed,
sensory overloaded,
dysregulated,
grieving,
disconnected,
struggling socially,
processing trauma,
or lacking the skills to express their needs effectively.

Sometimes behaviors adults find difficult are actually stress responses from a nervous system that does not yet know how to cope.

That does not mean boundaries are unimportant. Children absolutely need structure, safety, and healthy limits. But long-term behavior change usually happens best when we understand and support the needs underneath the behavior instead of focusing only on stopping the behavior itself.

Play Therapy Is Not Just One Thing

One thing many people don’t realize is that play therapy is not a single technique. There are many different evidence-informed approaches to play therapy, and therapists may use different styles depending on the child’s needs, personality, developmental level, and goals.

Some common approaches include:

Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT)
Adlerian Play Therapy
Gestalt Play Therapy
Jungian Play Therapy
Theraplay
Cognitive Behavioral Play Therapy
Synergetic Play Therapy

These approaches may look somewhat different from one another, but they share an important core belief:

Research suggests children thrive in safe, connected, developmentally appropriate environments.

How Different Types of Play Therapy Help

Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT)

CCPT is one of the most researched play therapy approaches. In this model, the therapist follows the child’s lead while creating a deeply accepting and emotionally safe relationship.

Through play, children begin practicing:

emotional expression,
self-regulation,
confidence,
problem solving,
and emotional safety.

Research consistently shows improvements in:

aggression,
oppositional behaviors,
anxiety,
emotional regulation,
and social functioning.

Adlerian Play Therapy

Adlerian play therapy focuses heavily on:

belonging,
encouragement,
relationships,
and helping children build healthier beliefs about themselves and others.

This approach recognizes that many challenging behaviors are attempts to gain:

connection,
significance,
power,
or safety.

Adlerian play therapists may be a little more active or directive in helping children develop:

coping skills,
emotional insight,
confidence,
and healthier relationship patterns.

Research has shown promising results for disruptive behaviors, social skills, and emotional functioning.

Gestalt Play Therapy

Gestalt play therapy focuses on helping children become more aware of their emotions, body sensations, and experiences.

Children may use:

art,
movement,
sand,
storytelling,
role play,
and sensory experiences

to express feelings they may not yet have words for.

This approach can be especially helpful for children who hold emotions inside or struggle to connect with what they are feeling.

Jungian Play Therapy

Jungian play therapy focuses on symbolic expression and imagination.

Children naturally communicate through:

stories,
fantasy,
drawings,
metaphor,
and symbolic play.

A Jungian-oriented therapist pays attention to recurring themes and symbols that may represent fears, stress, emotional conflict, or developmental struggles.

This approach has been especially influential in symbolic play and sandtray therapy.

Synergetic Play Therapy (SPT)

Synergetic Play Therapy is a newer neuroscience-informed model that integrates:

attachment,
nervous system regulation,
mindfulness,
interpersonal neurobiology,
and co-regulation.

SPT views many challenging behaviors through the lens of nervous system overwhelm rather than “bad behavior.”

Instead of asking:

“How do we make this child stop?”

SPT often asks:

“What is happening in this child’s nervous system right now?”

The goal is to help children gradually build the ability to:

tolerate emotions,
stay connected during stress,
regulate intense feelings,
and feel safe in relationships.

This approach aligns with neuroscience research suggesting children build regulation skills through repeated experiences of co-regulation with safe adults.

Why Connection and Regulation Matter More Than Discipline Alone

One of the biggest things neuroscience has taught us is this:

Children cannot consistently access reasoning and self-control skills when they are overwhelmed.

When a child’s nervous system shifts into survival mode, lectures, consequences, or repeated explanations often do very little to create lasting change on their own.

Play therapy helps children build the underlying skills that make healthy behavior possible:

emotional regulation,
flexibility,
communication,
self-awareness,
confidence,
and connection.

That’s why play therapy may look deceptively simple from the outside. A trained play therapist is not “just playing.” They are intentionally helping children build emotional, relational, and neurological skills through carefully attuned interactions.

This does not mean discipline is unimportant. Healthy discipline helps children learn boundaries, safety, responsibility, and expectations. But children are usually more successful with discipline when adults also support the underlying emotional and neurological skills needed to manage stress, emotions, and impulses.

We Aren’t Building Children. We’re Growing Brains.

At Calming Communities, we often say:

“We aren’t building people. We’re growing brains.”

Children grow best through:

connection,
safety,
emotional attunement,
play,
regulation,
and supportive relationships.

Play therapy works because it respects how children are naturally wired to heal, learn, and develop.

Rather than focusing only on stopping behaviors, play therapy helps children develop the internal skills that make healthier behaviors possible in the first place.

And when children feel:

safe,
understood,
connected,
and supported,

we often begin to see the behaviors adults are most worried about slowly shift over time.

References

Bratton, S. C., Ray, D., Rhine, T., & Jones, L. (2005). The efficacy of play therapy with children: A meta-analytic review of treatment outcomes. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 36(4), 376–390. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7028.36.4.376

Lin, Y.-W., & Bratton, S. C. (2015). A meta-analytic review of child-centered play therapy approaches. Journal of Counseling & Development, 93(1), 45–58. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00180.x

Meany-Walen, K. K., Bratton, S. C., & Kottman, T. (2014). Effects of Adlerian play therapy on reducing students’ disruptive behaviors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 92(1), 47–56. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2014.00129.x

Meany-Walen, K. K., & Teeling, S. (2016). Adlerian play therapy with students with externalizing behaviors and poor social skills. International Journal of Play Therapy, 25(2), 64–77. https://doi.org/10.1037/pla0000022

Oaklander, V. (2001). Gestalt play therapy. International Journal of Play Therapy, 10(2), 45–55. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0089479

Kafaki, H. B. (2014). The effectiveness of gestalt group play therapy on improvement of behavioural problems in preschool children. In SOCIOINT 2014 International Conference on Education, Social Sciences and Humanities Proceedings.

Dion, L. (2018). Aggression in play therapy: A neurobiological approach for integrating intensity. W. W. Norton & Company.

Koukourikos, K., Tzeha, L., Pantelidou, P., & Tsaloglidou, A. (2021). An overview of play therapy. Materia Socio-Medica, 33(4), 293–297. https://doi.org/10.5455/msm.2021.33.293-297

Below is a quick infographic to reference the content of this article. Or you can download a PDF HERE.